transitions.

Monday, September 26, 2005

hahaha im blogggin at tyo's house. im like sitting here, rotting my butt being a nice man, waiting for his $150 tissot watch and his $12421412412412412 other items. i guess he is just anxious with his stuff, but he forgot that ups come late on monday, cause its the first business day. hahahaha, so now he is in school tutoring little kid while i babysit with his computer. i was told not to surf porn or do anything funny with it. oh well, i guess there goes my porn entertainment! but well, been playing cs and surfing the net. just went to tia's house because that idiot apparently lock her room up. i went to there to help out, man i really feel like stabbing her. hahahahaha. oh wells, talking about my watch. i just realized, my chain has many scratches, cause its titanium chain. man perhaps i should have got a stainless steel one instead, and its even cheaper. i guess i just dont know how to take care of my stuff.

man, i slept like 12-14 hours yesterday. after i woke up, the first thing i do was to look for food. oh ya, jeffry brought beer to my house and came to wake me. he was like " win , win wake up ". repeat that like 10 over times. that guy was like standing infront of my red light, for 1 second, i thought he was the son of satan. inviting me to drink barcadi, what the hell. anyhow jeff went home later and i went to eat dennys with tyo. i think tyo must had stole my magic pills, he couldnt eat for god sake. cant even finish a bowl of salad and a hamburger. well well. and he even ended up with a stomachache, you WEAKLING. hahahaha, just joking. man, i've been slacking for this past few weeks, man i feel so screwed, but still im not doing anything about it. i even have a damn lab report to do. its like how now brown cow.

man i wish i have more money, my hand itch to shop. and where the hell is UPS?

Saturday, September 24, 2005

man. im officially broke. i spent $400 shopping. yes thats $400usd, not singapore dollars.

went out with dwi and tyo to sunvalley mall. reached at 4, left at 8. hahaha, tyo had a haircut. think he hates it or something, that vietnamese guy didn't even have the proper tools. dumbass. asked him to layer tyo's hair ( cut thin ). he went to cut horizontally. man, is he dumb or what. well. what an asshole. but well , its not my hair! hahahaha. dwi, that rich ass went shopping at hollister and abercrombie & fitch. well, i bet singaporeans dont know what is hollister. well, that bugger spent like $120 there buying shirts. great. while i only spent $30 on shirts. bought 2 school logo shirts, and 2 plain schools. hahaha, man it was really really long shopping there. but well.

OH YA, i WON A BEAR! hahaha. we we eating a dennys, and i played those arcade machines where you grab the bear in the machine. MAN, i cant believe i actually managed to get one of those bear. well, i named it DENNYS. cause he was from dennys. oh well.

i think frienster is freaking me out at times. reading their profiles makes me feel sick. well, i just discovered something about myself. im pretty anti-social at times. and i cant blend in to the crowd, nor can i stand out from the crowd. man and TRUTHFULLY, i get jealous pretty easily. i guess thats why maro said that taureans are people who are highly possesive. look at halim, he runs around with his girlfriend. nearly impossible to see him without his girlfriend. as for me? i dont have a girlfriend. so well theres nothing i can say. man, those people in friendster have those things like, top colleges in their list. im like .... shit man. sometimes i just cant stand myself for doing so badly in O's, and people doing so well and going to good schools. but im glad that i came to america. it somewhat pulled me away from those dumb school education system. i guess in this world, money can make wonders. well, i just hope that i would have the opportunity to give my son this chance to study overseas. and, i shall not let me son learn that dumb singlish. i have already ruined my english by studying in singapore, it better not happen.

and now im slacking again. shitfuck, i skipepd friday! and i spent my time sleeping, doing stupid things. i better start studying. if i were to go back to jc, i would probably die. think i learn nothing here. people in singapore are getting smarter and smarter, and me here getting dumber and fatter. i dont know why at times i cant stand singaporeans. i just dont know why, it just feels like im denying something. yet i dont know what it is.

i guess watching inuyasha would be a good way to destress from free of stress.

Monday, September 19, 2005

i wouldnt be really surprised if anyone happens to stumble upon my blog, or rather if my indodvc friends other than prasetyo found out my blog. then perhaps everyone would know how i think about them, everyone would know how much i hated them, loathed them or maybe cursed them. but well, thats the whole point for the blog. you grumble as much as you want, and when people finds out that they have been cursed etc, the " shit " starts.

its prettty complicating, like seriously. i mean, i dont really feel the effect but it really upsets me at times to see that the friendship between we guys are like falling apart. ever since raymond dump his ex for aulia, he was outta our group. rico started shifting away from us, then things really went bad. everyone hated each other ( my assumptions ) but they still put on a mask and pretend to be friends. right now, everyone is just backstabbing as much as they could, and one day the matter wouldjust blow up. like even right now, i dont even know who knows my blog. maybe dwi or rico might even read my entry about this, so i shall stop elaborating on the stories of who backstab who and what happened. everything is just in a mess among us. maybe not me or for tyo, because we are pretty much just laid back and pretty much neutral. man, 9 months have passed, yet things have changed so drastically.

this picture was taken in febuaray, its the welcome party for the spring kids. you can see me, tyo, dwi, rico and raymond. halim and imei was in sf then.

sumpah cok, sekerang kita sudah benar benar ngawur. now that we have split into groups, friends that turn to enemies, and hypocrisy is the key for survival in this community. i guess the chances of we getting back together is pretty difficult. now even the blog becomes a place unsafe to write, where else can i bury my sorrows ?

i guess this is so called god's plan. i dont know what is he up to. but if he try to split us apart, i thwart his plan. and by thawarting his plan, is perhaps part of his plan to get me to thwart his plan. nevermind, im sprouting nonsense. well.

i guess this picture, would constantly remind us of the past.
so now who is next to leave?

Friday, September 16, 2005

i hope im not paranoid. but, i cant find my watch. man im really sad about it. i really hope that i can find my watch. im so afraid that i dropped it somewhere or i lost it. but it just doesnt feel that way.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

i guess god has been kind to me i guess. i dont know im saying this because i feel lucky, or perhaps i should feel the other way round. that i should deserve more. you see, i dint screw up my busaccounting test that day, although i got like an 86, but there were people who did worse. like rico and dwi, a d-grade and a c-grade. as for dwi, he dint know have enough time. as for rico, man i dont know what is he going through. but i do feel that something is going on. inside of him, and then he just isolate himself from the others. man, sometimes i wished his housemate would give him a little more concern. especially dwi, man i dont know if you are reading this since you are blog surfing. lol, maybe you found out my blog or something, but well who cares. i just hope that you can like show him a little concern, its true that he drifted away from us. but just give him a little concern, or rather stretch out a bit to help him. kinda worried about him. first, he was fake emo. now hes really emo. i dont know what happened to him, i dont even see him once a week ( not that serious ) but yeah.

8 months passed, i have no idea why things changed so much. it was spring and end of winter when i first came here, now summer ended and fall is here. man, its so fast. and now im applying to a new school. i really hope that i have the willpower to go through this semester, do the possible 4.0 gpa, and then get into a good school. man, i just have this bad feeling that if i ask for something, it always turns out the other way. i realized that it has always been that case. man its pathetic. but this time, i hope its not gonna be this way. actually talking about this alone is freaking me out. man, i have this rosary right next to me, man im afraid that it will hear what i say. LOL, i know its suppose to help me. but i just scared it happen the other way around.

well. im pretty confused of what school i want to go, but there are many universities that i want to apply to. as long its good, i want it. lol. man, i just hope to do well for this semester, so that the universities will accept me. i really really hope they will. its now that determine my future, so i better buck up.

i bought my new phone, and it turned out that the seller ( the shop ) had bad ratings. i kinda like freaked out. its like, i was online surfing and i was so bored so i went to pricegrabber to see the internet ratings of shops. went to search for mine, and it turns out that its only a 3.0! what the hell. im like freaked out, i really got a big shock, its like man its way too low. i felt that i should have trust my instinct and bought from compuplus for the extra $10 and at least, i feel more assured. cause that shop has a 4.3 rating out of 5. way better then the one that i bought from. i really really hope that everything will be alright, and my phone will come in good condition. thats all i can ask for.

well, i dont know what else to blog. oh! i bought this red neon light that says LOUNGE. haha its uber cool, its red when its lit. i hope to get more of such funny lights thingy. i love lights, cause they give out brightness in the dark. just like the stars in the sky, that shiimmers in the sky, just for me. lol, unlike the dumb sun that bring brightness to everyone. but i just realized a star cannot do without the sun. hahaha, crap man. well well. i wonder how does it feel to fall from the universe, rather impossible. oh well. i hope i dont skip school again, man skipping school is like so so so so so so so so so so BAD. hahahahahaha. i hope i wont skip again for this semester, but it sounds rather impossble. well.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

i still feel so sleepy despite 9 hours of sleep. but this weekend was rather interesting.

went to watch " exorcism of emily rose ". damn the show was good man, it was a little scary and creepy and of course, its nice cause its realistic. i think if you guys had a chance, you guys ought to watch it. lol. tyo fell asleep in the show, and i had to like wake him up 10 times or more to get him to watch the show. dwi was like so scared he had his eyes covered and opened up a small hole between his fingers to watch the show. hahaha, and i had to accompany him till 3am before we slept. beacuse 3 am, was the time that jesus died or something, and it was the time that the demon mock and god. so its like 3am is the most unauspicious hour, man its CREEPY.

so the next day, which is sunday we went to ruth's kris steak house. man i swear to god, its one of the best steak i ever ATE. the steak alone cost $40usd. plus etc i paid like $56 usd, which cost around $90 singapore dollars. man, the steak was just so TASTY, JUICY and DELICIOUS. WAHH, i dont mind trying again. its so nice, so fucking nice. but yeah the price was nice too. haha dwi, imei, halim, evan, jeffry, rebecca, leon and me dine together. you dont know how tasty it was. man, its really juicy. like you could totally eat and SQUEEZE the juice. like, wah damn. nvm, i shant talk about it. haha its just DELICIOUS.

afterwards, we went to rebecca's house. darn, that girl is so rich, she bought a house in sf. her house is so nice as compared to us. ours is like shit as compared to her. hahaha. doesnt look nice in any sense, and think about it, my room is so damn messy. we went again, wanted to play pool and kbox, but it was all closed. so we went home, and we watched the show called " hide and seek ". man the show was superb. hahaha, damn i wished i had comcast on-demand installed on my tv. then i could watch porn on my tv, watch the latest movies on television. haha, den i'll be living like a happy man.

yawns, i shall go find something to eat. so darn hungry.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

you know sometimes its so weird to surf friendster and see how much your old friends changes. come to think of it, those friends who were once close to you are now like completely strangers. man, its ok that we are strangers. cause i cant help to think that sometimes im cooler than them, or they are cooler than me, and thus we can't mix with each other or else you will screw your reputation up. yeah, like the friends that i was once close with in primary school, they either become too idiotic and moronic, sissys who put their hands to their cheeks with the V-shape and then they type with those funny up down letters with the funny funny piggy-shit family etc. thats how my close friends evolved. well. few of them become morons. some of them became too coool for me, like way way too cool. ( cool in the poseurish way ). i mean, at least thats how i define it. like they don't write those weird weird stuff, nor do they actally put the V-hand sign in the air. but they dress like some punk, listen to some weird music ( i consider them weird cause i don't like that type of music ). rock and metal and satanic. they wear those weird shirt thingy, act cool yeah. i suppoes they despise the people from the beng beng leagues, from the beng beng leagues despise the cool punk league. how dumb can it be, and to make it worse, i have close friends who are like this. 10 years back in primary school, everyone was the pretty much idiot who listens to aqua vengaboys and toybox with those funky tunes from backstreetboys and spicegirls. or maybe " raffles town " was the favourite song that everyone liked and knew how to sing during our primary school music class.

now?

you get people hearing those bands like bravery, slipknot, marilyn manson and the opposite who is jaychou, F4 and some weird chinese thingy which are so. well, i guess i like to disagree with a lot of things in the world. haha. but all i know is that, those friends are strangers. and soon, my current group of friends would be strangers too. ever since i went to america, i define chinese songs as beng songs. though they like to hear those rock/metal/$^%$&$ those noisy music, i define those music as unrefined junks. i dont hear classical, jazz or blues etc. i just hear normal songs = pop songs. which makes me extra insignificant, cause im just another nobody in the crowd. but anyway, maybe i should stop talking about songs.

im like talking about this cause i was surfing friendster. its pretty amazing, like how people change so much within a decade. in fact, a few months, weeks, or days is enough to change someone. as for me, i know i changed pretty much. i bent my principles of not touching liquor and cigrattes. think im like just a self-moulding sponge. i become anyone and anybody to fit into different type of communities. well. people do change, then thats just too bad.

i woke slept at 8am today cause i was on the fone, woke up at 12. i skipped the whole day of school. i do think that the friday quiz would be pretty difficult, cause apparently i didn't study for it. as in, i did study for it, but i still dont understand. looks hard to comprehend. yeahh, woke up late.

man. lets come to a conclusion that singaporeans inferior cause..., man you gotta ask tyo the reason. hahahaha, ok fine im trying to be an idiot and offend people. well well. i think im just plain dumb at times, to do stupid things for stupid reasons that only make stupid sense. i shall not get into a relationship untill like dont know how many years later when i finish schooling and get a car. ( i hope ) besides, not as if im pretty wanted or anything. haha, thats the good side of it. i just realized girls are always wanted, while guys are always unwanted. what is god trying to do. ahhhh, fuck it. think i shall sleep soon.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

my money is depleting so fast that i think im gonna become broke. well. i skipped school today, the whole day. bad move, been really a long time ever since i did that. i don't know lately, i feel lethargic, lazy to do anything. totally not in the mood to even study, at this rate im gonna screw my gpa up again. shit man. my next comming quiz is on friday, busaccounting. i better start studying soon. i got fined $50 for late payment, and i also paid the $100 insurance all by myself. my rooommate dint pay though. what an idiot. yes im blaming him, just need someone to share some responsibility. but well it doesnt work that way. i really dont know what to write in my blog now. especially like right now, when i just woke up. my mind is just totally blank.

well, at least now i know the truth. but its better than nothing.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

ever saw a million stars at one shot. well i did.

i went to lake tahoe in nevada last saturday. 2 cars, halim's lexus gs, and rebecca's bmw 530i. well they came over and we left together from northridge apartments.

day1:

we went to safeway to buy liquor. had red-label, giant size absolute vodka, mandarin absolute vodka, midori, beers, with lots of chips. so that night, we set off. jeffry me, bec, leon ( her cousin ) and yujia ( the boyfriend ) were in one car. while the rest were on the other vehicle. man, it was a pretty long journey. it was like a 3 hours drive to tahoe. jeffry was the one driving. bet hes happy to drive a 5 series. haha. anyhow, on the way we ate in-n-out, i would say its one of the best burgers in the world. ( at least to me, it is ). they only have 3 type of burgers in their menu, hamburger, cheeseburger, and double-double cheeseburgers. its just simply delicious. reached tahoe pretty late. reached the house like near midnight. its way way better than the singapore chalet. singapore chalet is crap, piece of shit with a pathetic small roof. the worse thing is that theres nothing you can do in singapore chalet. anyhow this chalet was like this small cottage, with 3 rooms, 3 bath room, equippd with living room, a 3rd level upper deck for people to sleep, and also a nice and cosy living room. anyhow we started drinking there. well the details is pretty explicit. shan't elaborate much on here, you guys just to know that i was drunk and one of my friend had to kick me in the belly to take the liquor away from me. not only that, i got slapped by rebecca twice at least, and they say i deserved it. well, the moral of the story? know your limits, and stop drinking when you feeel high. its called pass out, not sleep well. yujia was drunk too. haha.

day2:

woke up without a hangover, thats really a good thing. went to eat sushi, and then we went to the beach to do some water sports. tried jet-ski. it was great, but something bad happened there. its like tyo and i took the 2nd turn to take the jet ski. so he was the one driving, and you know what. in the middle of the lake, the key got lost. ( somehow ). actually we were like crusing so fast, the excitement was like much more than a roller coaster. for such a small vehicle, that can cruise so fast on the water, its really freakky. anyhow we rode really fast, then the engine just died on us. yeah, the man was pretty pissed of course. we had to argue so much, to explain that we did not lose the key. you see the key was supposed to be chain to us, so that it won't drop. however, it wasn't. so in the end, we quarrelled and argued, in the end he just say " ok fine, you dont have to pay, just leave ". hahaha, think hes damn pissed or smth. at night we went to eat at this restaurant, the tip alone is $50 usd. well, think about the total bill for the 10 of us.
anyhow, rebecca was sick, so at night we just rested at home.

forgot to mention one thing was that, the bmw 530i, had an accident. someone crashed on to us from the back. anyhow, their car was pretty badly damaged. while our 530i was still in the same ship, just a small dent at the back, and the internal metal of the bumper bend. while the other person's vehicle was like. fuck man, smashed. the hood went up, its just pretty bad. well.

day#3

went to eat bk breakfast. left for SF. man, another BAD ACCIDENT HAPPENED.

well. of course we dint die. but it was like fucked up man. this car was trying to take our lane, and you know what, all of a sudden he was so near to us. bec was like, yang ! yang ! yang ! ( it means dear in indo ). of course yujia was calm. but the honda accord wasnt that lucky. i dont know how to dsecribe to you. but well, i shall show you guys a rough image of what hapened. the black line was us, the red line was the honda accord and the grey line is the railing.

so practically the car turn left on us, and he turned right, and because he turned too much, the turn back again. so hes car spinned, like a 450 and banged straight to the the railing. the hood came up, the windscreen shatterered like as if those spider web. you know what this year alone i experience 3 accident. and everytime , i heard the screeching sound 3 times this year, it just creeps me out. the sound of that screeeeccccchhhhhh sound, gives me goosebumps. anyhow, i saw from the back of the car, was quite shocked to see what happened. we dint stop, we just kept on moving. cause its not our fault, well. i just pray to these guys that they are alright.

americans are crazy arent they.

#1 . saw million stars
#2. tried jet ski-ing.
#3. drank again.
#4. smoked ( yeah i know thats bad,so fuck it )
#5 the jet capsized and i was in the sea for like at least 3-5 minutes with the life vest. trust me, you will freak out.

yeah, now i have phobia of the waters. man it just gives me the creeps. never ever go to the sea with a lifevest. as beautiful as the sea could be, it could kill you in an instant. its that fast, and its that scary.

Saturday, September 03, 2005

man. today is such a long day. had this bad nightmare of getting killed, woke up twice and found my heart pounding so fast, i was like sweating. i think i was, but well.

im glad you received the package.

so what did i do today? went to school at 9, which means that i only had 3 hours of sleep. skipped physics class, ate at osha thai. and mr halim sudarga took me for a ride in Vickri's M3. my my, 333 horsepower I-6 engine inside that small 3 series body, plus the sound from the quad exhaust made the car a superb masterpiece. i wouldnt mind getting that car though. its great, just that i would rather get comfort rather then get performance. well not my point.

went to the indodvc bbq. wasnt that fun as expected. but made some new friends, also played basketball there. like for 2-3 hours, now my legs and hands is so cramped up, that i couldnt even type properly. just realized that nelson from st-andrews who is in dvc is also so singaporean. man, i feel so different talking to him. could practically feel that hes a singaporean, instead of a indonesian. and that feeling, makes me feel that hes so fake. ain't saying anything bad about him, but it just feel that way. i wonder if others feel the same way about me too when i first came here.

came home, and we set out for SF. tomo, tyo, tia , royce and clara, bunga, indra, dwi, andrean and me went to eat japan town. haha. i think all of them are nice people. though its like first time eating out with different group, but it felt fun. its not really like i do know royce they all, but yeah, somethings in life. the first instance, the first moment you meet someone. you can somewhat determine 70% of his character. royce is a funny guy, his sister clara too. indra was as usual, one big weirdo. andrean was pretty friendly too, as for dwi. haha yeah, everyone knows him. lol. i think royce looks damn cute, hahaha like this big teddy bear that is always smiling. and the sister is so opposite of him, shes cute too, but in a different way. lol, according to dwi, although shes a very simple person. like when she goes out, she wil only wear jeans or shirt/blouse. BUT, its BRANDED. man what can i say, even when you are simple you can dress with branded goods. hahaha, talking to clara reminds me of those people who are nearly extinction. shes like those innocent people, who is quite simple. but i think, shes not that simple. haha. and shes the opposite of her brother. royce is tall, plump, red face, small eyes and always smiling. the sister is shorter, skinner, small eyes and quite a nice overall white complexion. its just like me and my brother, totally different.

it was quite fun eating there, we were really like laughing non-stop. our lame jokes, plus royce's intimidating comments on tia - the tiang was damn funny. haha, the whole meal, the whole table was laughing and laughing. hahaha, i guess this tell me something, i shouldn't limit my own social circle. however, i don't really like to mix with new people unless i feel good about them.

its only recently, that maybe i learnt to open my eyes and march forward another step in understanding people.

i guess the world are full of nice people, its just that my life is tough and i din't get to meet them. well.